happiness is elliptical [10 Dec 2009|07:12pm] doomfroggie [ mood | numb ] Life goes on. Had my final forensics exam today that wasn't as bad as I had thought, considering I missed the review sesh on Monday on account of having another breakdown/panic attack. Got back 2 out of the 5 classes I need for the spring in order to graduate. Nothing really I can do from here besides beg some more. *le sigh* At least I have found a good escape though; the gym. I've been going at least once a week this semester, but its been kinda a drag and 'cause of the weight I put on over the summer made it harder to build up enough confidence to squeeze into my workout uniform, but I think I am finally seeing some progress. I've abandoned trying to force myself to eat breakfast and back to just eating when hungry, which is nearly never in my depressed state. Which I am a little concerned about that but not enough to make it an issue. I've gone to the gym 3 times this week already and plan on going again tomorrow. Its not so much the prospect of weight loss that gets me going now, its the psychological feeling. I know I won't get any more bad news while doing my cardio, nothing bad is gonna happen while lifting weights and I can just rock out to my iPod for an hour while doing something that I know will make me feel accomplished. Plus I love the feeling I get after I get home, take a shower and sit with a cup of tea. Like all my cells are humming with stimulation. Its a feeling on par with sex. I donno. I guess if you're gonna get obsessed/addicted to something to help fend off depression, you could do a whole lot worse than working out. Over break I'll be kitteh sitting for a family friend at their condo which has two full gyms, two pools and I think at least three hot tubs. Ooooh yes. Leaving on the 21st. Can't wait. But for now 3 papers, 2 tests and 1 journal-thing to go. Good luck everyone!! post comment

its over [03 Dec 2009|08:50pm] doomfroggie that was it. I have officially lost all interest in trying to give a shit. This has been the most difficult semester of my academic career, personal-life wise. And now this. At some point within the past two weeks, some sub-human had the tenacity to break into Sheldon's car and steal my bow and all my archery gear. In such a sneaky manner that neither of us noticed until I went to get it from his car for practice tonight. Nothing else is gone or out of place. The dog is in his car every time he leaves his house. So it either happened while he was at home or that dog is a worthless piece of shit. I'm too distrought to even think right now. The only part of my life that was stable and made me feel...good at something is gone. We're going to go check pawn shops on Saturday and I'm going to sit in on the morning classes, but i highly doubt either will work. iF anyone happens to see anyone walking around with a forest green Samick bow, please kick him in the nuts and call me. fuck. post comment

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